I'm from Arizona where I feel like our history, as a state, is so young in comparison to some of these wonderful southern cities and towns.

No. 1 music event in 1998? 'Weird Al gets LASIK to cure his myopia. At the same time, he grows out his hair and shaves his mustache, drastically changing his look.'

Quaintness is creepy. So let's maximize that.

If you want to lead an extraordinary life, find out what the ordinary do–and don't do it.

Nietzsche tended to equate the memorable with the painful.

We hear about Tiger Woods as a prodigy at three years old. For every Tiger Woods, there are thousands of kids who never want to touch a golf club again.

Fame for the lames, fortune for the brains.

I think there's a mystery about what a social movement is.

As my kid gets a little bit older, if I feel like I have a little bit more time on my hands, I'd like to get more into developing ideas and writing things.

The power which makes a man able to entertain a good impulse is the same as that which enables him to make a good gun; it is imagination.

We gotta stop smokin', stop, stop. I mean cigarette smoking.

The Human moral keyboard is limited ... there's nothing you can play on it that hasn't been played before. And, my dear Friends, I am sorry to say this, but it has its lower notes.

But then I came to the conclusion that no, while there may be an immigration problem, it isn't really a serious problem. The really serious problem is assimilation.