I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me want to dream.

Excessive caution destroys the soul and the heart, because living is an act of courage, and an act of courage is always an act of love.

Without - you know, good intelligence stops plots against the homeland. Without that intelligence, we cannot effectively stop it.

Even brilliant scientists Google themselves.

Ever since economists revealed how much universities contribute to economic growth, politicians have paid close attention to higher education.

Lenny Bruce is a very moral man trying to improve the world and trying to make audiences think

From what may anyone be saved? Only from themselves! That is, their individual hell. They dig it with their own desires.

Both dreams and neurotic dream-states have as their function the avoidance of displeasure, but the dream-states also serve to provide a positive pleasure gain.

Love is not just tolerance. It's not just distant appreciation. It's a warm sense of, 'I am enjoying the fact that you are you.'

Everybody's saying we've got to go 3D or virtual reality or choose your own adventure. But there are other ways forward. I don't think we're done with film by a long shot.