I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

Adorn your sacred-existence.

The vast majority of things are distractions, and very few really matter to your success.

I always cry at weddings, especially my own.

You know, not even your British Queen is called just Elizabeth - she's Elizabeth the Second. There's only one Imelda.

I had a girlfriend before I ever had a boyfriend, but it was just a phase.

If the risk is fully aligned with your purpose and mission, then it's worth considering.

Prejudice and discrimination have always been a big part of my life. When I was 6, I got beat up and called dirty Jew boy because they thought I looked Jewish.

In my political philosophy I think that there sometimes is room for violence.

The saddest illusion of the revolutionary is that revolution itself will transform the nature of human beings.