I'm gonna abandon my spirit to them, which is actually what I attempt to do. You work yourself up into that state and you fall in supplication of the demon gods.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

Beyond certain age, friends do not come to your life with a design, but they essentially go out of you life for economic reasons. Friends you are left with are your ‘true friends’!

Imogene always sitson the remote. It’s probably wedged between her butt cheeks.”“Should I go get a crowbar?

It is always sad to leave a place to which one knows one will never return. Such are the melancolies du voyage: perhaps they are one of the most rewarding things about traveling.

You can do nothing you put your heart into it.

We learn a lot, but the actions we don't put behind those things that we learn and we continue to make the same mistakes.

Those who don’t love themselves as they are rarely love life either.

A crash really occurs when you suddenly have a violent downturn in the market that then heralds a long bull market.

I think people enjoy reading about money, but the people who are in charge of giving me guidance tell me not to talk about it in interviews. Why not? That's what everybody thinks about.

A little blue-eyed blonde in a red hot sweater, wants to spice my chili, I think I'll let her.

One decision can change your life forever.