I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

Nothing makes you feel more stupid than finding out you were wrong when you thought you were loved.

I think, in my own state, I can tell you that people do want to hear a serious discussion on serious issues.

And when I'm on the microphone you best to wear your sweater, Cause I'm cooler than a polar bear's toenails, Oh hell, there he go again.

What is the answer to this fatigue? Relax! Relax! Relax! Learn to relax while you are doing your work!

Donald Trump has said that his 15 percent rate would apply to all businesses. And if that's the case, billionaire real estate magnets will get a very big tax cut.

We Slytherins are brave, yes, but not stupid. For instance, given the choice, we will always choose to save our own necks.

L.A. is a vortex. The weather there tricks you into thinking you're on vacation, even when you're working fourteen hours a day.

What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you 'turn up missing'?

I'd like to curl up in a ball like Hillary [Clinton]said she would but she is out. And I think we all have to go do that. The fact of the matter is we don't have the luxury of pulling back from this.

I met Big Pun when I was a young boy. I think that he really gravitated to my innocence.