I'm happy with what I'm doing. I try not to focus on how I've changed. I just try to focus on what I'm doing now.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

Acquit thyself in the Lord. He will give you inner peace.

Relentless criticism in childhood can internalize a parental scorn that no amount of success will silence.

If you like tiger cubs, you got to get into the den!

He who wants peace must prepare for war.

I want to protect and preserve social security and Medicare.

Even if I don't want to slow down, I'm slowing down.

Life cannot be administered by definite rules and regulations; that wisdom to deal with a man's difficulties comes only through some knowledge of his life and habits as a whole.

There is a concept which corrupts and upsets all others. I refer not to Evil, whose limited realm is that of ethics; I refer to the infinite.

I'm not terribly happy about rock and roll. Certain rock music is uninspiring, numbing; it makes you feel like an idiot.

I've noticed a funny thing about people who are over-weight. They spend all their time thinking about food -except when they're actually eating it