I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I don't have a tuxedo that fits anymore because my chest and my biceps are too big.

I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total fricking rock star from Mars...

Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh.

I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips.

People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.

I still don't have all the answers. I'm more interested in what I can do next than what I did last.

The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretending you don't have one.

It's quite fitting that Slash is getting a star on the very street Axl Rose will one day be sleeping on.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math.

I’m going to tell you something that will make you very happy: your god is the one true god. Just remember, I am telling this to everyone… and I mean it.

In our time no one has the conception of what is great. It is up to me to show them.

I mean, scamming on guys on the Internet? I thought that was only for forty-year-old divorcees who Photoshop their pictures in an effort to appear younger and thinner.

If fees consume more than 1% of your assets annually, you should probably shop for another adviser.

I can't lie... My face always gives me away. I'm also pathetically bad at poker!

It takes a courageous fool to say things that have not been said and to do things that have not been done.

For me, art is always a kind of theater.

The first thing you've got to do is know your craft, and then you can do something else with it.

If I feel strongly, I say it. I know I can do more good by being vocal than by staying quiet. I'd have a whole lot more money if I lied, but I wouldn't enjoy spending it.

To me the work is so much more interesting, the parts that don't require you just to take your shirt off.