I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

If you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

Whoever uses the spirit that isin him creatively is an artist. Tomake living itself an art, that isthe goal.

It is not so much being all that we dream of becoming as it is un-becoming all that is covering our being.

You may lose your wife, you may lose your dog, your mother may hate you. None of those things matter. What matters is that you achieve success and become free. Then you can do whatever you like.

Harriet, Hi! Light of my eye! Come to the pictures and have a good cry, For it's jolly old Saturday, Mad-as-a-hatter-day, Nothing-much-matter-day-night!

Dedicating time when I really can't afford to be I'll provide protection if you open up the door for me

If you really kill, you don't want to talk about it.

Everyday sexual practices on college campuses need to be upended, and men need to feel a cold spike of fear when they begin a sexual encounter.

And he had a nice home in Ohio with wife, daughter, Christmas tree, two cars, garage, lawn, lawnmower, but he couldn't enjoy any of it because he really wasn't free. It was sadly true.

I want a baby from an Italian - possibly Sicilian - donor.

Dont be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground.