I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

Put work into your dreams.

Then, things get hard, because once you know magic exists, you have to decide whether to be the bystander, or the magician … and we were all born to be magicians.

He feels the word close enough to absorb it

In between films I like to travel and hope to visit every continent before I become a mother.

The concrete is better than the abstract. The detail is better than the commonplace. The sensual [through the senses] is better than the intellectual. The visual is better than the mental.

Let us therefore be of a reverent spirit, and fear the long-suffering of God, that it tend not to our condemnation.

Love is lost in immensities; it comes in simple, gentle ways.

I'll just say this: The last problem Paris Hilton has is being in a John McCain ad.

My mom passed away a day before high school started, and her dream was for me to be a full rock and roll guy, and play drums in a band.

But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord." "It might to keep it open.