I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood, a very bad mood! I was fired from my ice cream truck job today! No more Fudgicles!

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

All the while, my mind reeled with what had hap

I started elocution lessons because I was being teased, and I had a brilliant drama teacher. At the age of 14, I appeared at the National Theatre in 'The Crucible.'

And the blunts and liquor killing our lungs and liver. The asthmatic drug-addict, I function with it

May I tell you why it seems to me a good thing for us to remember wrong that has been done us? That we may forgive it.

National security begins with border security. Foreign terrorists will not be able to strike America if they cannot get into our country.

Mad cause he aint like me... Oh you mad cause nobody ever did it like me.

Governments do not know what they cannot do until after they cease to be governments. Each government carries the seeds of its own destruction.

I definitely had some moments, where, "Wow, these were some hard chords" on some gig.

It is well said, in every sense, that a man's religion is the chief fact with regard to him.

So musical a discord, such sweet thunder.