I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!

In the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king!

First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.

I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem.

Basically, I only play one character; I just play him at different volumes.

Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug.

I want to live fast and die young.

I live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.

Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all right. But I'm a human being like everyone else. I'm not exempt.

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.

Everybody laughs when fatty falls down.

The way I’d put it, ” said Makin, “is that Rike can’t make an omelet without wading thigh deep in the blood of chickens and wearing their entrails as a necklace.

Market leadership can translate directly to higher revenue, higher profitability, greater capital velocity, and correspondingly stronger returns on invested capital.

...I'm so over the tattoos and the T-shirts and rings through the noses. It's not pretty, it's not pleasant, it's not exciting. Please stop it now.

Do not, under any circumstances, put this book down and turn on the teevee. The teevee debilitates our culture.

We have to admit that there is an immeasurable distance between all that we read in the Bible and the practice of the Church and of Christians.

During my addled career as a trout fisherman I have gone on a lot of wild-goose chases, and I ruefully expect to go on a lot more before I hang up my waders

What is called generosity is usually only the vanity of giving; we enjoy the vanity more. If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one.

Without Jimmy Carter we might not have gotten Ronald Reagan, without Ronald Reagan there would probably still be a Soviet Union.

It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.

...reality, the name we give to the common experience.