I'm just here for the narcotics.

Black eyeliner. It’s standard. It’s all you need. It just makes the world a better place.

You get depressed because you know that you're not what you should be.

You have to be saved to get into heaven....you only have to be you to get into hell.

If you want to find out who your real friends are, sink the ship. The first ones to jump aren't your friends.

Music is the strongest form of magic.

When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed.

We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.

The imagination is precious. Don't lose it. Don't lose the child in you.

People are too lazy and too stupid to think for themselves that we've got sitcoms with canned laughter that lets you know when to laugh if you're too stupid to know when the joke is.

I don't think we should ever regret anything we do. I think we have to accept the consequences and you learn from your mistakes, and that's how you grow as a person

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. William Shakespeare

The stomach is a slave that must accept everything that is given to it, but which avenges wrongs as slyly as does the slave.

Worst decision is when you have decided but still it doesn’t satisfy you in hell lot of ways and you long to go back in time to fix it. It is so expensive to afford a wrong decision.

I don't need to apologize for my behavior you need to apologize for not understanding.

Whenever I see a photograph of some sportsman grinning over his kill, I am always impressed by the striking moral and esthetic superiority of the dead animal to the live one.

Many of the architects of the Vietnam War became near pariahs as they spent the remainder of their lives in the futile quest to explain away their decisions at the time.

My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act.

A teacher's major contribution may pop out anonymuosly in the life of some ex-student's grandchild.