I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Windows 10 on both an old 2011 upgraded computer and a new 2016 computer was an excruciating experience

Good listeners, like precious gems, are to be treasured.

The previously unloved may find it hard to believe that they are now loved; that is such a miracle, they feel; such a miracle.

Make yourself sheep and the wolves will eat you.

I grew up in the kitchen, mostly with my grandfather, my mother and my aunt Raffy.

Surrender had played out for good with me.

I've always been a perfectionist, so I always wanted to sound better than I did. But, that's a never-ending process. You always want to get better. There's always room to grow.

Failure to make the tough but necessary choices means slow painful death.

This person they make me out to be irritates the hell out of me as well.

I guess I would model myself after the Bill Condons, the Frank Darabonts and the David Nutters if I were to direct a feature, which I would love to do, by the way.