I'm, like, everybody's friend. I'm one of those dudes. I can be friends with anybody. Any race of person, any personality, I can kind of deal with them. I accept different types of people.

I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.

Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?

When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage.

I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I'm working with my left and right hand. I'm the two-sided coin. I'm all of those metaphors you can think of. I'm the interracial couple. I'm BET and CBS.

You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?

All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.

You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity.

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.

This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.

Life is simply too short to live it less perfectly than it could be lived.

The reason is, because it’s of more importance to community, that innocence should be protected, than it is, that guilt should be punished.

The building of friendship, family, community and love is complicated. We are so isolated in this country, no longer supported by tribes and villages.

If you don't try and explore genres and have freedom of creativity, you're just wasting your position as a pop band.

Faults of the head are punished in this world, those of the heart in another; but as most of our vices are compound, so also is their punishment.

Whether we stay or whether we go - to be courageous is to stay close to the way we are made.

We often reward mediocrity because it is comforting. If they can do it, anyone can do it.

It is a health care law [ObamaCare] that is basically forcing companies to lay people off, cut people's hours, move people to part-time. It is not just a bad health care law, it is a job-killing law.

...the artist treats intuition and nuance with respect and reminds us that a little madness resides in all of us. Artists give voice to feelings, to conflict, to the prism of human experience.

I'm not bisexual, I'm tri-sexual. I try everything