I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

The individual cannot bargain with the State. The State recognizes no coinage but power: and it issues the coins itself.

Anything you do, do with love and enthusiasm.

It's great to be self confident, but some people are very egotistical. Once you realize the world doesn't revolve around you and change your attitude, you'll truly walk in your purpose.

Whether consciousness is implanted in us by something divine, or whether it is created by the efforts of our brains, the end result is the same. We are.

Our Lord has written the promise of resurrection not in books alone but in every leaf of springtime.

I think it's time that we all be there for the children, to learn from the ones who came before us, and to teach our sons and daughters to have respect for themselves. Break the cycle.

My parents and my grandfather on my mom's side would travel the earth. They went to Australia and China, and they went to probably every soccer game I ever played.

In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him liberal he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something.

The name of American, which belongs to you, in your national capacity, must always exalt the just pride of Patriotism . . .

I choose to make the rest of my life the best of my life.