I'm looking for loopholes.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

You have to set somebody free for them to return

What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible.

For sleep, riches and health to be truly enjoyed, they must be interrupted.

Two half truths do not make a truth.

Thank Heaven for Retirement!

Arguing with people is like reading your e-mail at 4 in the morning. There is absolutely no good that can come of it. It's just scratching an itch.

People who are so dreadfully "devoted" to their wives are so apt, from mere habit, to get devoted to other people's wives as well.

I love most melodic music - classical, reggae, big band, jazz, blues, country, pop, swing, folk.

I don't want to sell myself short. You hurt your spouse, not so much by the infidelity, but by the negative feelings about yourself that you bring home.

If I could only give three words of advice, they would be, 'Tell the truth.' If I got three more words, I'd add: 'All the time.'