I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf, And me an' my friends can walk towards you with our hats on backwards in a menacing way, Yo!

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

You can become great by multiplying yourself through time conversion into different products but that will only be possible if you understand the value of time.

The fear of failure is a liability.

I have been very fortunate in that I'm not doing all network shows or all cable shows, television has really become a year-round process in the way that it's made.

In books, as in life, there are no second chances. On second thought: its the next work, still to be written, that offers the second chance.

Weary or bitter of bewildered as we may be, God is faithful. He lets us wander so we will know what it means to come home.

A book should be a garden that fits in the hands. Word-petals of color. Stems of strength. roots of truth. Turn a page and turn the seasons. Read the sentence and enjoy the roses.

It has taken us two million years to elevate politics from the level of a monkey squabble, to a level comprehensible to a six year old child.

The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.

Intolerance of groups is often, strangely enough, exhibited more strongly against small differences than against fundamental ones.

People in Iceland are complete chickens in the cold. You think, "Oh, you must not be cold because you're from Iceland," but we're never in the cold.