I'm more concerned about members of Congress being drug-free than I am about members of the Yankees or Giants

It seems to me we have been in a rhetorical arms race in this country, with each side unwilling to lay down its weapons for fear - usually justified - the other side would beat them to a pulp.

Global warming alarmists are unpatriotic racists knowingly misleading for their own ends.

That's the trouble with trying to influence an undecided voter. First you have to find one

One day, someone will get too close to the television, and I will pull them into this hell with me.

Sometimes you just stumble into something that works, and here I am a quarter of a century later.

Anyone who has seen me spin that heavy, giant wheel on television knows that I'm not a steroid user

There's a difference between climate & weather, moron!

I dont' like talking to horses because they are naysayers

I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer.

Once you buy a prize, it's yours to keep.

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like

As I enlarged my vision to see the bigger picture of my dad’s full life, I was better able to let go of being stuck in memories of its end.

I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed.

You cannot win without sacrifice.

There is nothing so fleeting as the memory of benefits received.

Poets do not go mad, but chess players do.

If you can learn to like how you look, and not the way you think you look, it can set you free.

[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

There's what people want to hear, then there's what people want to believe, there's everything else, then there's truth.

Hate is unfulfilled love.