I'm more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

To believe in God is to yearn for His existence and furthermore it is to act as if He did exist.

Prayer reaches out in love to a dying world and says "I care."

We need peace and stability in the Asia-Pacific region. It is important to have political and security stability to build up our economic growth.

In default of inexhaustible happiness, eternal suffering would at least give us a destiny. But we do not even have that consolation, and our worst agonies come to an end one day.

Life is not meant to be an open-book test.

People who live at a distance are naturally less faulty than those immediately under our own eyes.

By dint of making sacrifices, a man grows interested in the person who exacts them. Great ladies, like courtesans, know this truth by instinct.

All other areas of my life, I'm hopeless. I can't even be certain how to boil an egg.

At every step Donald Trump has been - his legitimacy has been questioned.

The only thing sweeter than union is reunion.