I'm more of a fisherman as opposed to a scientist perhaps and chasing the whale. But I've had some success.

I didn’t marry The One, I married this one, and the two of us became one.

Anyone who believes in a Jesus who condones abortion does not believe in the real Jesus, and therefore is not Christian.

You cant be controlling in improv.

Children are entitled to life. We conceive them and so we owe them our care and our protection. This may not be a dictate of law anymore, but it is a dictate of love.

It's so pretentious, but I believe that with comedy, if you have a good story, 90% of it is casting. Once you get the guys and gals in there, it's pretty easy to make a funny movie.

I'm a huge fan of Chicago sports and Chicago food, and I love going home and my family is still there. I guess it's pretty easy to have a normal life in Chicago.

I've never gotten hired for drama because I'm a good improviser. I don't think people who write drama scripts want you playing with them as much.

We are the protagonists of our love story, not the spectators.

I guess I'm sort of spoiled because, most of the things that I get to do, people know that you're a good improviser, so they allow you at least one improv take, and for comedy, that's great.

I am not upset that you don't love me, I am very happy to know that you are still living in my heart, in my love.

I do not laugh

That world is ended, as if it had never been. Let the race of Adam and Eve take warning.

He was fortunate to fight me on a bad night because if he fights me when I'm firing on all cylinders, he's getting battered as well.

I don't mean to sound like a cheap prostitute, but you can call me what you like.

I have a hard time watching myself! Usually I do the work, and then I leave it. So I pretend like I'm not on TV every week.

Education without courage is like a wax statue - beautiful to look at but bound to melt at the first touch of a hot stuff.

The great will not condescend to take anything seriously.

He who would have fine guests, let him have a fine wife.

Being able to still make records is a privilege. I don't take it casually.