I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Everything a writer learns about the art or craft of fiction takes just a little away from his need or desire to write at all. In the end he knows all of the tricks and has nothing to say.

If knowledge is lacking, your destruction is inevitable. Hosea 4:6

I love silent films. The future is unwritten.

The world is a collective madhouse, its inhabitants are merely faking sanity. It is critical to becoming aware of these aberrations, for pretensions can be the enemy of love.

'The Tube' was the first time the plebs had gone on the television. The lunatics taking over the asylum.

Learn on how little man may live, and how small a portion nature requires.

Youth are active partners in Gujarat's development! Gujarat's approach towards skill development has been flexible, broad based, inclusive and with a long-term vision.

When you're sure of what you're looking at, look harder.

I'm usually one of these guys analyzing what does happen and putting it in focus and context.

I think a brain can be made "more thinking" or made "more emotional." At what point does this become abnormal? Autism in its milder variants, I think, is part of normal human variation.