I'm not a Republican... but I am saving up to be one.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Your job won't take care of you when you'll be sailing through loneliness or going though a tragedy in life. Your friends will. Make good friends and stay in touch.

If life was a piano light and darkness would be the keys. And shadows would be the melody that creates the harmony.

Through Love all that is bitter will be sweet, Through Love all that is copper will be gold, Through Love all dregs will become wine, through Love all pain will turn to medicine.

Every vice is already a punishment in itself... you don't need a ticket on top of it.

The desire of talking of ourselves, and showing those faults we do not mind having seen, makes up a good part of our sincerity.

God's mark is on everything that obeys Him.

In the end, I wonder if the true movement of the world might not be a voice raised in song.

My knowledge of art ended at impressionism.

A moody child and wildly wise Pursued the game with joyful eyes, Which chose, like meteors, their way, And rived the dark with private ray.

A dance is the devil's procession, and he that entereth into a dance, entereth into his possession.