I'm not a big birthday guy I never have been.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Relentless criticism in childhood can internalize a parental scorn that no amount of success will silence.

If a man own land the land owns him.

The past is like the hair on our head. I moved to New York when I was twelve, but you always have this feeling that wherever you come from, you physically leave it, but it doesn't leave you.

Writers who have nothing to say always strain for metaphors to say it in.

Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it.

They that are against Superstition oftentimes run into it of the wrong side. If I will wear all colours but black, then am I superstitious in not wearing black.

When you change from being a part of the problem to being a part of the solution, allow somebody that.

Whatever is goode in its kinde ought to be preserv'd in respect for antiquity, as well as our present advantage, for destruction can be profitable to none but such as live by it.

I've always been a keen cyclist, I'm very close to the world of cycling. Not just cycling really - also walking, adventures, being a curious person, traveling to new countries.

There are four qualities essential to a great jazzman. they are taste, courage, individuality, and irreverence.