I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

A life without goal is a ship without rudder!

I work three days at home, and two days in the British Library or the London Library, just to get out of the house and hide from the children.

What some of the early horror genre masters knew, and what I know, is that the audience are perverts, but in the best possible way.

My 12 years in New York were very, very special, the fans were very special, and it's something I will take with me wherever I go and into retirement.

American capitalism has been both overpraised and overindicted. It is neither the Plumed Knight nor the monstrous Robber Baron.

Life marks us all down, so it's just as well that we start out by overpricing ourselves.

A priest encounters temptation every day, and some of that desire is very natural.

In life you make the small decisions with your head and the big decisions with your heart.