I'm not a nervous person. I'm not afraid to be on TV. I'm only afraid when I write. When I'm at my desk I feel like most people would feel if they went on TV.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

I have finally come to realize that it’s being forced to be honest with myself that’s made my pain painful all along.

To worry is to wear yourself out.

A plastic surgeon should never tell anybody to age gracefully. Rather his motto should be to make people age youthfully.

A sneer is the weapon of the weak.

Happiness is a thing to be practiced, like the violin.

Fear is excitement without breath.

I think the characters are supposed to be an open book, blank canvas.

I only know one yoga: 'You Go.'

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

Where we hope to land (and where we do land, though only for a fleeting moment, enough for tired wings to catch the wind anew) is a 'there' which we thought of little and knew of even less.