I'm not a politician, I'm a comedian. I know my limitations.

When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.

Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.

Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.

You can't change what happened. Just like you can't change the future by worrying about it. You just have to keep moving.

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take 'em.

I'm not afraid to fail. Sometimes when you lose, you win. Sometimes when you win, you lose.

I can't build myself by beating somebody down.

Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you've learned your lesson.

If you mess something up, remember who got you there. Don't be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.

You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke.

Only a writer can ride a time machine and change the future when he is not there.

Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement.

And the summer seems as though it would dream on for ever.

I think I don't regret a single 'excess' of my responsive youth - I only regret, in my chilled age, certain occasions and possibilities I didn't embrace.

You fuel your life with trust and love instead of fear and doubt.

Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.

Some day the Devil will come to me and say: 'Come with me.'And I will answer: 'Yes.

[Health-care system] is largely privatized and unregulated. So of course it's highly inefficient and costly.

There is something so beautiful inside you that if you knew it, you would fall in love with it. It is irresistible. You can truly experience that.

Its all spirit and its all connected...Our choice is to live out of harmony with spiritual ways or in harmony with spiritual ways. Everything is spiritual.