I'm not a slave driver or a yeller. I was yelled at in kitchens and other workplaces.

I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and dirty - and it leads to problems occasionally, 'cause I can sound mean without attempting to be mean.

Culinary tradition is not always based on fact. Sometimes it's based on history, on habits that come out of a time when kitchens were fueled by charcoal.

Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

My college degree was in theater. But the real reason, if I have any success in that milieu, so to speak, is because I spent a lot of years directing, I spent a lot of years behind the camera

Laughing brains are more absorbent.

Cooking is an observation-based process that you can't do if you're so completely focused on a recipe.

So on one hand, honey is an amazingly sophisticated and efficient food source. On the other hand, it's bee backwash.

I had kicked around the idea for Good Eats when I was directing commercials.

A lot of food shows need only to tempt. Some food shows only need to inspire, to empower. And there are a lot of shows that do that.

I’ve never heard of a man being so eager to confess to the parent of a girl he’s just ruined

We're all killers at heart . . . . I have never taken anybody's life, but I have often read obituary notices with considerable satisfaction.

I do not need a lot of money to be happy.

If no producer, no movie.

One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.

Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.

[Michael] Felix and other immigration attorneys say it's possible [Melania] Trump was doing what a lot of models do - working illegally on a tourist visa.

One of my favorite people is Gypsy Rose Lee. She bears out the Biblical promise that he who has, gets. And I hope she gets a lot more.

The chief virtue that language can have is clarity.

I prefer a thief to a Congressman. A thief will take your money and be on his way, but a Congressman will stand there and bore you with the reasons why he took it.