I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down.

The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that someone hasn't thought this thing through.

A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.

Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing.

The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as 'Bobbing for Baptists.'

We like to see our future through our children

This is wrong. Out of this world wrong.But then again, so am I.

The sound of the blades on the ice in the morning is like smelling fresh coffee.

I worked at the Steel Company Of Wales when I was 17. My job was to supply tools to the guys working the blast furnaces.

I always say this: If you a dude texts you after 2 a.m. and you reply, then you will never get called at 8 p.m. He won't take you serious.

In the 1950s that tug-of-war between the expectations of behaving normally and the limitlessness of thinking freely produces some very strange characters.

Who's ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me!

It's fun when you are on tour to go a place you are familiar with in any given city. It's like being home away from home.

There is nothing that love cannot achieve, and there is nothing that love cannot sacrifice.

If conservationists will attempt to resume responsibility for their need to eat, they will be led back fairly directly to all their previous concerns for the welfare of nature.