I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

I think they're very attractive,' Abe agreed. 'I just don't think they're attractive, that's all.

I always live in the present. I never dream about what might happen. Why? It might not.

The [tenth] amendment states but a truism that all is retained which has not been surrendered.

I believe health care is a basic right. If education - you're entitled to an education, why wouldn't you be entitled to adequate health care? Period.

I mean, I'm not a contrarian.

I am proud to place Tercio Red River into a conservation easement forever protecting this spectacular landscape with Colorado Open Lands.

The major problem of life is learning how to handle the costly interruptions.

My husband is a former Air Force pilot and my son is an active duty Army surgeon, recently returned from Iraq, so my pride in our military is passionate... and personal.

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

It is essential to the triumph of reform that it should never succeed.