I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

When it comes to serious cuts to major programs like Medicaid, the American people are not calling for leadership but magic. They want cuts with no pain.

You have no fixed self. This is only an illusion that causes you to feel pain and suffering.

I think every family should have a dog; it is like having a perpetual baby; it is the plaything and crony of the whole house. It keeps them all young.

Night was running ahead of itself.

Most of our stress and suffering come not from events, but from our thoughts. Reframe from negative thoughts, and stress subsides.

Dancers are the messengers of the gods.

The man who is prepared has his battle half fought.

You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today's world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms.

God accepts us unconditionally, and in his view we are all precious and priceless. Focus on this and you will not waste any time and effort trying to be someone you're not.

Success without happiness is failure.