I'm not afraid of putting myself out there to someone and then them passing on it. At least you could have gotten a 'yes.' So it's worthwhile to have the cojones to do it.

As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection.

I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman. I was divorced. I was childless. I figured there's got to be one more way to really tick off my mom.

Time flies, though, huh? But I feel young. And do you know how I stay feeling young, ladies and gentlemen? I'll share my secret with you: I live in a senior citizen retirement community.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

I was over there in Hawaii. I was there on the big island. The 'Big Island' - that name cracks me up. First of all, it's not that big, so I'm pretty sure a guy came up with that name.

They're all sources of material. What I love about what I do, the more you talk about your life, there are so many people who have similar experiences.

All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff.

Women, stop buying the lingerie. Stop buying it right now. Oh, it's a big rip off. Oh my god, $18 bucks for panties this big? Come on, one trip through the dryer, and it's a frilly bookmark.

Just be your authentic self because there's nothing sexier or more beautiful than that.

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.

Everything in the world was about creativity: belief and creation. Storytelling was the essence of both.

She glanced at me brieflyI looked at her longingly, so she believed Finally relieved.

This was just no fun. I wanted my brain back.

Now I have enough money to travel wherever I want, but I haven't got the health.

CDs, too. Totally corporate. They look real cheap and soulless and they don't smell of anything.

Imagine ... Imagine no religion.

My first paid acting job was a movie called Fandango. It also starred Kevin Costner.

War is an admission of failure

Songwriting's a weird game.

Zits are beauty marks.