I'm not afraid to move away from funny. I'm not afraid of that.

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

Why one human being is attracted to another is one of the great mysteries of the world.

Of course he seems to have quite a mind of his own and that is probably where he is weakest.

I consider the official Catholic attitude on divorce, birth control, and censorship exceedingly dangerous to mankind.

Hast thou attuned thyself to the suffering of humanity, O candidate for light?

The theater was my mother and my father.

Analogy cannot serve as proof.

The memories stayed with him for so long, and stayed vivid. And it didn't matter to me that he'd already repeated that before. I could hear it forever.

Jesus suffered deeply because He loves us deeply! He wants us to repent and be converted so that He can fully heal us.

One who is allowed to sin, sins less

I listen to other people's music now. I didn't for many years but now I am fascinated again as much as I was when I started out.