I'm not careful with my money at all these days. I buy people a lot of dinners!

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

The miracle is life, time and nature, three sacred gifts, ends with 'e'.

Once you achieve self intimacy & self-connection, success, peace & wealth is not far from you.

I have never met the man I could despair of after discerning what lies in me apart from the grace of God.

My parents didn't play golf.

Every bowling center should have a house pro.

I have always thought that my ear is also very influenced by my eyes.

I went through phases of odd hairstyles and tank top-over-tee outfits and stuff like that.

Almost any trick can be improved by thinking through it slowlyThe first step is to not blink

My father was adopted. He grew up in the Italian household.

First of all, weren't all the best beatings in the trailer for 'The Passion of the Christ'? I hate when the trailer gives away all the best stuff.