I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

The sacred h”s : hope, happiness and health.

Nature seems to welcome defiance of conventions, and to say, with a smile, 'So, the truant has come back again!' ("Absolute Evil")

Vampires love to gossip. They live for drama...

Life is like a ocean, jump right on.

Philosophy is not to think deep, but simply speak life's basics that arise, aware and awaken people who are knowingly or unknowingly in the state of sleep.

I believe that the abolition of private ownership of land and capital is a necessary step toward any world in which the nations are to live at peace with one another.

A million years went by quick.

The New Age? Its just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds.

I want to act because I don't know how to do anything else.

The role of the artist is to make the revolution irresistible