I'm not cruel, sir, I won't shoot you in the guts, but I will make you realize how much you took your toes for granted.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Be resolved that honor is heavier than the mountains and death lighter than the feather.

It is always taking care, but it is difficult, because at times to take care of her is also to cause her pain.

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?

The seated lotus postures are an amazing way to go into meditation, or simply just to take a moment to ground oneself.

I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth!

There is no such thing as a paper loss. A paper loss is a very real loss.

Repentance is no other than a recanting of the will, and opposition to our fancies, which lead us which way they please.

The Past, the Future, O dear, is from you; you should regard both these as one.

I think so highly of people who love their sport and make a really strong commitment to it.

Men don't oppress women any more than women oppress men.