I'm not doing my job if people are like, "What you do is fake." And literally people on the street are confused, generally, for the first time.

I would much rather be hated for who I am, then loved for something that I am not.

Whatever your walk in life is, you pick what you want to be, then go ahead and be the best one.

I pride myself on being a jerk, because I'm brutally honest all the time.

I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't use drugs. That may be boring for some people, but that's just me. That's how I live my life.

Haters are my favorite. I´ve built an empire with the bricks they´ve thrown at me. Keep on hating.

Sometimes it's what you don't do that makes you who you are.

I'm the kind of person that if I'm not getting something that I need from somewhere. I don't cry about it, I'm like OK I'm going to go here and find what I need.

Do you know what it's like going through life being better than everybody? It's hard.

I've never stolen anything in my life, except maybe a couple hearts here and there.

The best thing you can probably do is keep a low profile, keep your eyes and ears open, your mouth shut, and you will learn a ton.

My friend, I am not what I seem. Seeming is but a garment I wear - a care-woven garment that protects me from thy questionings and thee from my negligence

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have left.

I don't run against Hillary Clinton. I run on the most important issues facing America.

The first 20 stories written about a public figure set the tone for the next 2,000 and it is almost impossible to reverse it.

I think it's probably much easier to do political comedy from a two-party point of view, in that the majority have some sense of what it means to be one or the other.

Ultimately one loves one's desires and not that which is desired.

The smallest quantity of alcohol scares away novel ideas.

I willingly confess to so great a partiality for trees as tempts me to respect a man in exact proportion to his respect for them.

It's hard to have a friend when your name's a household word.

You are my sweetest downfall.