I'm not for the parties. I'm for Texas.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

Real is the new beautiful

Living for the Self [the Soul] is merit karma (you bind merit karma) and living for the worldly life is nothing but demerit karma (you bind demerit karma).

The Rooster Coop was doing its work. Servants have to keep other servants from becoming innovators, experimenters or entrepreneurs. The coop is guarded from the inside.

I finally had what I'd wantes all those years. Except now that I had it, i felt as empty as this unkempt pool I was dangling my legs into.

You don't have to think about who you're and judge yourself life is what you have try to be happy with all you have

When we're in that kind of childish space, we're more genuine and feel more comfortable with our friends.

I went right from wunderkind to washed up. Old. Been around too long. That's just the way I feel. That's my internal dialogue.

I had not met Tina Fey before I auditioned for 30 Rock. Some people think were old friends from Second City days. I had always been a fan of Tinas. But I actually never planned on being in a sitcom.

Losing a child is probably the singular most horrible thing.

I am one of the haunted.