I'm not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn't really bother me.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

Die, v.: To stop sinning suddenly.

Each character is a completely whole person with their problems and many sides to their personality. It's so rich with details as well, like the set.

Premature burial works just fine as a cure for adolescence.

It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides.

If we lose our memory, we lose ourselves. Forgetting is one of the symptoms of death. Without memory we cease to be human beings.

It is in vain to expect any advantage from our profession of the truth, if we be not sincerely just and honest in our actions.

I used to be a jazz snob, believe it or not. I sort of turned my nose up at anything more commercial.

What I learned at Oxford has been used to great advantage throughout my business career.

Virtue itself turns vice, being misapplied, And vice sometime by action dignified.

Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself, believe.