I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.

To be the salt, you also need to be the shaker. To shake the world. Shake the truth. Shake the people. Shake the word. Have it sprinkle, melt and preserve humanity.

Life before consciousness was like blank paper, so be it.

Well, luck is for fools. It's all they have to hope for, poor devils.

My bodyguard was mowing the lawn in a pink bikini when the body fell from the sky.

It wasn't just about doing tricks. It's about taking an audience to another place, a special place, so they can really suspend their disbelief. Its about amazing the audience as well as moving them.

To say to the painter that Nature is to be taken as she is, is to say to the player that he may sit on the piano.

Don't shoot til the subject hits you in the pit of your stomach.

I've got a fleet of cars and I've never had a driving license, ever.

Fred Hoyle and I differ on lots of questions, but on this we agree: a common sense and satisfying interpretation of our world suggests the designing hand of a superintelligence.

With 'Girls,' it doesn't really feel like I'm doing TV specifically. It just feels like we're making a really long film.