I'm not just saying this, but I love everything about India.

Self-worth and financial worth become indistinguishable.

I don't make the stereotypes, I just see them.

If you're politically correct, chances are you're not coming to one of my shows. I get to go onstage and say things that everybody thinks all the time, but can't say out loud.

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white.

I DJ and I'm a harsh critic of DJs.

Stand-up and boxing are very similar. You're the only one out there, you're going into a fight, and you're going in with a game plan.

Azhar Usman is very funny, deeply spiritual, and extremely hairy. He's like Zach Galifianakis meets Deepak Chopra-and funnier than you'd expect that combination to be.

I'm not a media darling. I'm forever the outsider, for whatever the reason is.

Who I am on stage is just an amped up version of who I am in real life.

I do a lot of cultural material that's based on my traveling around the world. I basically just report what I've seen and where I've been.

Behind the shadows there lies defeat

It is so good, so sweet and above all, so beneficial to suffer.

The most terrible things men do, they do in the name of love."— Madame Dorothea

I put my own d*ck in my mouth. I was 14 and much more flexible at the time. It was soft and required a lot of pulling. I really wanted that case of beer.

Golfers don't fist fight. They cuss a bit. But they wouldn't punch anything or anybody. They might hurt their hands and have to change their grip.

A small degree of wit, accompanied by good sense, is less tiresome in the long run than a great amount of wit without it.

A lot of people in government don't really read books at all.

It's hard in L.A. not to go out, it gets lonely. Being an actress is lonely, and I never want to be alone. I hate sleeping alone.

It's nice to have someone write a couture character for you.

And the Law that once contained impossible demands -- Thou Shalt Not... -- actually becomes a promise we fulfill in you.