I'm not on this earth to be a goalie. I'm not here to stop somebody from accomplishing their goals. If you're not hurting anybody, I'm here to either assist or get out of the way

I eat the same way Doc Brown fuels the DeLorean at the end of Back to the Future.

It's a Vietnamese soup that answers the question, 'What happens when a former child soldier pours hot rain water over fish nightmares.' It's delicious and I can't stop eating it, that's what happens.

I was raised Catholic in the Midwest, so I cant enjoy anything.

What is there to say about ChUC other than it's a comedy show done the right way in the right space. Fantastic comics, welcoming audience. Always great.

I am somehow allowed by the universe to do exactly what I want to do to make a living.

Sometimes your dreams come true, and its a real drag.

The time that I have on this earth should just be filled with good times.

Comedy doesn't have to be loud and obnoxious and beat you over the head. It can be this really small detail that, when it computes in your brain, you think, "That's great. That's masterful."

Young writers take themselves very seriously in college.

I'm lucky I'm a comedian, 'cause otherwise my life would just be a series of undocumented low points.

It takes a long time to wake up. That's why it doesn't happen to people who are in a hurry.

How can you just forget a person completely until the moment you see his face again?

The ultimate relationship is within thyself, knowing that all other relationships are a projection or a reflection of our ability or inability to love.

If the natural environment is changed and the electromagnetic radiation levels increase, then it may cause illness and disease in humans.

Most of your problems exist because your heart is hard and you are being arrogant.

because we all know that the books we’ve loved best are seldom the ones we esteem the most highly

That freedom that Picasso afforded himself, to be an artist in a huge number of ways, seems to be a huge psychological liberation.

Always have the highest bar for yourself.

Headphone aren't big enough these days. Why not just throw a couple of stereo speakers in a full face motorcycle helmet.

The only other thing which I think is important is: Don't write a book or start a book with the expectation of communicating a message in a very important way.