I'm not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

A painting shouldn't be just a picture, it should be a philosophy.

Giving is a necessary good

Global Warming: It is a hoax. It is bad science. It is high-jacking public policy. It is the greatest scam in history.

My idea of heaven is a place where the Tyne meets the Delta, where folk music meets the blues.

Nonviolent non-co-operation, I am convinced, is a sacred duty at times.

There is something that can be found in one place. It is a great treasure which may be called the fulfillment of existence. The place where this treasure can be found is the place where one stands

[Barack] Obama has little, if any, principles except to aggrandize and make himself more and more important.

By virtue of Creation, and still more the Incarnation, nothing here below is profane for those who know how to see.

If I knew in 1986 how much it was going to cost to keep Pixar going, I doubt if I would have bought the company.

I bring truth to tha youth tear tha roof off tha ol' school.