I'm not used to getting good reviews.

I was one of the first veejays to take the camera out on location, and that's what was unique about MTV at that time.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

When you're a kid, all you really care about are Slurpees and Slip N Slide and riding your bike, and that's what I did.

Hope is a fine killing thing.

I hope so, ” grumbled Ian. “I’m going to look for another one of ‘em winged dogs for Mabel.

There is much money given to be laughed at, though the purchasers don't know it; witness A.'s fine horse, and B.'s fine house.

I'd once read somewhere that is takes about half as long to recover from a deep relationship as the relationship lasted.

I'll never let you see, the way my broken heart is hurting me, I've got my pride and know how to hide all my sorrow and pain, I'll do my crying in the rain.

Once upon a time, an angel and a devil held a wishbone between them. And its snap split the world in two.

I've always felt that kids are really smart.

The happier time, the quicker it passes

What I wish more than anything is that I could start getting press about my work as an actor. That is what I do. I'm not a criminal.

When you lock a movie's release date and then move it two months, it's just not good. It's good for everything but the cast, crew, and people who are creatively trying to make a film.