I'm nothing if not an optimist.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

They will not let you have peace, they don't want you to have anything they don't have themselves.

Praying anywhere" can easily become "praying nowhere", just as "praying anytime" can easily become "praying at no time". Everything in general becomes nothing in particular".

Love is winning the war without starting the war. (L'amour, c'est gagner la guerre - Sans commencer la guerre)

In order to eliminate discrimination, the Modern Liberal has opted to become utterly indiscriminate.

The gift of self cannot be given to us. It is an incomparable gift that has already been given. We have possessed it from the beginning.

They make glorious shipwreck who are lost in seeking worlds.

Human madness is oftentimes a cunning and most feline thing

It is not caving in to the bees to stop poking a stick into their hive.

You do this because you like it, you think what you're making is beautiful. And if you think it's beautiful, maybe they think it's beautiful.

If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you're not a conservative at forty, you have no brain.