I'm offering a special prize for the first Buick on the moon.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Tall and thin, Mademoiselle Baptistine was a pale and gentle person. She was the incarnation of the word 'respectable, ' whereas to be 'venerable, ' a woman should lso be a mother.

Nothing is cooler and more attractive than a big comeback, and that'll be me.

When you start using senses you've neglected, your reward is to see the world with completely fresh eyes.

I feel responsible; I feel I've got to do something that will leave the kids a place where they can live healthy, safe, productive, creative and prosperous lives.

Worship is a way of gladly reflecting back to God the radiance of His worth.

Choose the company of your superiors whenever you can have it.

All over the world, people want to know what kind of people Texans are, and I explain that Texans are America's ideal Americans.

In my opinion, there's no condition in life that can't be ameliorated by a dose of junk food.

The phrase what I want struck me. It contains so much entitlement, so many complications, but encompasses only what a person doesn't have.

I know it's my fault I should've gave more.