I'm on a diet as my skin doesn't fit me anymore.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Pride would have destroyed me. But i were able to cheat on pride. if i could cheat on pride then i could cheat on success too. Both were never meant to good lovers. Jovita Efehi Obadolagonyi

The king is a saint and cannot rule, and his son is a devil and should not.

True conscience is Christ.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

World history is made by minorities when this minority of number embodies the majority of will and determination.

Christianity takes this beating that I really don't understand and yet you can't say anything negative about the Muslims because that's horrible, you can't say anything negative about other faiths.

Why do [TEMPLES] beautify and shine? Because as the scriptures say, 'truth shineth,' and temples contain truth and eternal purpose; so do you.

In each of us dwells a pilgrim. It is the part of us that longs to have direct contact with the sacred.

It's not about me, it's about how I can help my team to achieve more. And I do that through scoring goals.

It's rare that I ever meet a musician who doesn't agree that music is a language. But it's very rare to meet a musician that really treats it like one.