I'm one of the school of people who don't do research of the reality of the thing or the unreality of the thing. In all the movies I've done, I've never done any research.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

You try, you fail. You try, you fail. But only when you stop trying, do you really fail.-Madam Leota

You think you're funny? I think I'm adorable.

She [Nana] listened to his [Steiner's] propositions, turning them down every time with a shake of the head and that provocative laughter which is peculiar to full-bodied blondes.

Two things form the bedrock of any open society - freedom of expression and rule of law. If you don't have those things, you don't have a free country.

Since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of time, you are incomparable.

We will K‘Vruck the world.

I could see he was having problems taking my punches. I had no problem taking his.

The other countries did not share the same concern the United States had in the early '90's - that North Korea actually had an ongoing nuclear weapons program.

What I see as the greatest threat to America is that the American people will put political pressure on their leaders to pull out of Iraq before we should.

History is nothing but a pack of tricks that we play upon the dead.