I'm over-educated in the things I shouldn't have known at all.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Work is much more fun than fun.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

How is it possible, you ask, for love to be greater than the person who does the loving? That’s because love defies the rules of reason. It is the only exception.

Perception and reality are soul mates! They always support each other and even like to hide behind each other.

Man is the miracle in nature. God Is the One Miracle to man.

I don't want to argue with my wife about her car - or my driving.

Dark things have always existed but they used to be in a proper balance with good when life was slower.

You cannot organize civilization around the core of militarism and at the same time expect reason to control human destinies.

You can pay people to teach, But you can't pay them to care.

I am very scared at the beginning of each book, because I've never written it before. I feel I have to teach myself how to do it.

I have said I will not work with the parliamentary party in Strasbourg again but of course I will continue to be a member of Ukip.

When one heart opens to another heart, it usually results in love.