I'm playing like Tarzan-and scoring like Jane.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

They claim red meat is bad for you. But I never saw a sick-looking tiger.

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

Only fools live in the past or carry envy to the present.

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

I read the greens in Spanish, but I putt in English.

Remember you have to be comfortable. Golf is not a life or death situation. It's just a game and should be treated as such. Stay loose.

I never prayed that I would make a putt. I prayed that I would react well if I missed.

Then Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in. I'll caddie for Jack.

I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.

Stop your weeping. Grief is for the dead.

Never complete. Never whole.White skin and an African soul.

When you're on the subway in New York, people literally could be 11-inches away from you, and you can't just stare at them.

Alone! Alone! No beacon, far or near! No chart, no compass, and no anchor stay!

I can be bought, but not bored.

To me, baseball is not a game, but a religion.

I have to deal with some dumb folks. It's a real drag.

War on nations changes maps. War on poverty maps change.

You don't think about it that often, but you don't realize how many of your friends have come and gone. It makes you feel very fortunate.