I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

Raise, Awake and take stand. Draw the path for others. Be a Leader.

You are my light in the darkness.

When my husband Jonas and I started Auntie Annes in 1988, we never expected or anticipated building an international pretzel franchise. It was the farthest thing from our minds.

To my parents, writing seemed precarious and not the best idea.

Man all of your flows bore me, paint drying.

The presumption that any current opinion is not wholly false, gains in strength according to the number of its adherents.

Yes, I'm a real fighter. But I often ended up empty-handed.

I got really interested in the language used in blogs written by young girls - a young person's aggression, which is always lacking from the visual world.

Our lives are mostly a constant evasion of ourselves, and of our visible, sensible world.

Secrecy is the element of all goodness; even virtue, even beauty is mysterious.